Going Away For a Bit

Title says it all. I’m going away for a bit, I’ll be back. I decided to take advantage of a ridiculously low price stay in a caravan and I need to blow the cobwebs out of my head. I’ll be away for five days and I plan on doing nothing except writing, reading and walking by the sea. I have a few hopes for the week, but we’ll see how they pan out.

Usually I wouldn’t like getting away from home. My home is my “safe space” or my bubble, as I prefer to call it. Anything that happens here can be controlled by me and that’s normally how I like things. I don’t generally like going on holidays for that exact reason. Unless I’m going somewhere I can be distracted 100% of the time I find it hard to leave my home and shut off. But, that’s what I’m hoping this week will do for me.

For the last few months things have been very up and down. The ten year anniversary of Amelia’s death came and went and left a mark on me. I knew it would, but I wasn’t entirely sure just how hard it would hit. I’ve had problems elsewhere in life that piled up and put me in hospital. So, I want to get away from everything – an opportunity to work on myself and focus on new things.

Something I’ve realised over the past few months is, that life is too short. I suppose I should have realised this years ago seeing as my daughter only made it to three years old, but it’s taken all that time and all those mental health problems to bring on that realisation. I’m hoping that this break away will be the first step on the road to me taking back my life.

For too long I’ve been held captive by depression and anxiety and I’ve watched as I set myself up to fail on numerous occasions. Throughout that time I’ve seen friends achieve some truly brilliant things and for the longest time I was envious of what they were doing. I felt trapped, as if I couldn’t reach out and grab what I always wanted. I’m sick of watching the world turn as I sit on the sidelines. So, I’ve made myself a plan (It’s written down on special stationary and everything) and I’m going to work towards my goals slowly, but surely. And it all starts this week.

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